Boys Need Love Too, But I Really Don't Care
Updated: May 23, 2019
On my morning train rides, I like to play my Daily Mix ( and yes I am a Spotify user. Do not drag me for it). I typically go for the rap playlist and allow the sounds of Young Thug and Big Sean to hype me up as I cross the bridge into the city. Every time, and I do mean every time, there’s some new rapper with a song calling women hoes, and how godly be believes he is in bed. Nothing new here. So it surprised me when Summer Walker’s “Girls Need Love Too” comes up in the playlist.
I smile to myself. I fucking love this song. I love that this black woman made a song reducing a man down to his genitals and exactly how it could benefit her. It’s refreshing to see women owning the fact that sex doesn’t belong to men. We need it too.
So when I hear Drake’s voice, I have to take pause. How did this song, a song about a woman using a man for sex, need a male verse on it? From the first few lines, I already know it’s ruined. I listen to Drake croon about his “best combinations” and how Summer’s man wouldn’t want smoke, and I realize almost instantly that I really didn’t care about what he had to say in this context. Because this song was not about him.
In this new space where women like Summer Walker, SZA, and the City Girls are flipping the objectification and over sexualization of women, being a woman feels incredibly powerful. Like our bodies and our stories are finally ours to tell and that there’s no shame or fear in that. That women can be nasty, women can be side pieces, women can just want sex. Sentiments that are typically thrown at us as insults are now being joyously sang in the club and at Coachella. It’s beautiful to see women coming into themselves in this way, until a man feels the need to join this conversation.
Drake’s addition to “Girls Need Love Too“ is exactly what it looks like when a man tries to take part in any conversation that isn’t about him. It’s boring. It's the embodiment of entitlement to a topic they don't understand, but feel the need to be a part of. There are some spaces, in this case songs, that just don’t need male commentary on it. Walker ended up putting a feeling into words that too many women are afraid to say themselves. Music like this helps women feel seen. It empowers them to not be ashamed of doing the same things, because they know they aren’t the only ones. So when I put on “Girls Need Love”, I don’t care about how Drake (or any man, really) feels about being used. I don’t care about his cosign on her needs. All I care about is this woman getting what she asked for.
Music like Walker’s and so many other women creating authentic music about female sexuality doesn’t need the male gaze. Sometimes girls just want to have something that hasn’t been touched by a man’s perspective.
I am well aware that some boys may need love too. But if I’m being honest, I just really don’t care.